I told a friend the other day that I don’t feel like Sam’s mother. I feel like I get to tend her for a while, to guide her, but I don’t own her. She said she hoped I kept that perspective when Sam got older. I hope so too!

I’ve been thinking about what I said. While it is true that I don’t feel like a mom, perhaps it is because that word doesn’t really convey the full visceral feelings I have for her. I like to pretend that I am just tending her. I really don’t have grand plans for her, and I think I would be okay with pretty much anything she did as long as she was happy and not hurting people. There is a connection to her that is incredibly strong. I know, people out there go, yeah, that’s being a mom. My whole body sings when I am holding her and she laughs with me, or she snuggles in for a smooch. How can such a small word such as mother convey the extent of what I feel?