Well, I guess Sam celebrated enough at her party. She ended the evening by throwing her food all back up again. She wasn't fazed by it at all, and it seems to have been just a temporary thing.

We had a wonderful time. Becky, Cole, Steffi, Lucia, Trajan, Juli and Cori were here, and Ella made sure everyone had clean faces, especially Cole. She loves children and actually behaves better when there are more people in the house. Samantha was sleeping when people arrived. I let her sleep for a while, but I did have to wake her up to get her to her own party. She didn't want to wake up! I tickled her ear, patted her bottom. Her eyes opened, but she wouldn't move. I finally just picked her up and brought her downstairs. She is such a trooper. She just took it all in stride and had a grand time. Cole is so sweet with her. He is a very steady little boy, just sort of soaks in everything around him, even a little shy. They are pretty gentle with each other, especially given how young they are.

She loved her cake and ice cream. She used her spoon for the first time to eat ice cream. The ice cream was too cold to eat with her hands.

Samantha loved her presents. She got two outfits and a pair of panda leather slippers that are adorable from Sue and Gary. Becky gave her a cell phone that I know Sam will love, and we gave her a sound center that she also loves and we hate. I don't know what I was thinking giving it to her. I guess I just love her. Aunt Leslie sent another gift, this one a toy musical box that is really cool. She really enjoyed playing with the "Pat the Bunny" book too. If you are reading this, thank you!

Hamlet made an appearance. What a brave boy! He even let Juli pet him for a bit before sauntering off again, carefully avoiding any baby hands.

I've been amazed all day looking a her, wondering where this big person has come from. I remember her being this tiny little being in the hospital. This year has gone by so fast!

I put Sam down on the floor standing, holding her hand with one hand. Samantha walked over to her toy on the floor and leaned over to pick it up. !!!!!!!!!!!!

Some friends just had their baby, early, but healthy. I went through our newborn stuff to see if there was anything they could use, and couldn't believe that Sam ever fitted into these clothes. She is very long, already fitting into things that are for 18 months. I keep telling myself that her toes are at the end of the feet of her sleeper because the sleeper is on loan from Sue and they are shrunk from the washing. Yeah. I have no idea how long she is, really. She is solid, to me, although friends who have boys say she looks petite to them. Of course, their boys are candidates for the football team linebackers today, so it is all in the perspective. (sweet boys)

Sam is still sniffling, but the runny nose is getting better.

I was just stir crazy today. Sam woke up at 4:50 am. Really woke up, so I got up too, fed her breakfast let her run around a bit until she yawned, fed her a bottle and put her back to sleep at 6:30. She woke up again at 7:13 am (can you tell I have a digital alarm clock and the time was traumatic.) She wasn't screaming, but she was definitely awake. She was banging the crib side and jumping on the mattress. I was beside myself with lack of sleep, so I rolled over and slept for another hour. She seemed fine. She had her book open next to her, although at the point I went in she was lying on her back and kicking at the music buttons, trying to turn on the music.

She had a long nap this afternoon, woke up around 2:00. I fed her lunch and didn't have much planned for after that, so I called up a neighbor that I'd been talking to on-line and invited myself over for coffee. I think she was happy for the company, and I know it was nice for me to see a new face too. I had to get out!

I dreamt last night that I heard this banging in the other room, and then Sam walked through our door and said "Mommy, look, I'm walking!" It was creepy. I need some time to adjust! She isn't walking yet, but she is almost there.

I am a volunteer for the Smith Alumnae Club and the Boxer Angel Rescue Group. I interview prospective students for the Smith Admissions office as a SAC volunteer, and I interview prospective homes that want to own a rescue boxer. I can do this from my home via the phone, and I get to talk to people about two of my favorite topics. That should help with the stir crazies. I want to go out and romp with Ella, but I can't take Sam out into the yard in this cold. When is summer going to get here? Poor Sam sits and stares out the kitchen door at the snow. I can tell she wants to go for a hike where she can grab the trees and feel the air.

Well, I'm scared to take Samantha out in this weather. Getting her clothes over the internet seems really appealing right now. Ella is going for walks every day with our dog walker, Shannon, so Sam isn't going out in the woods at all for about a week and a half now. We went out yesterday so I could go to Fish Kids and see what they had for their winter sale. I found one outfit, but that is it. There is very little for 18 month olds. I don't know why, there just isn't much.

Her nose is still running. How long does it take these things to run through? She isn't quite so cranky anymore, thank goodness, and she is sleeping pretty well too.

Matt appears in the doorway after checking on Sam during her afternoon nap. He tells me that I must go look at her. I walk in, and Sam is face down in the corner of the crib, jammed up against the bars with her butt in the air. What is that underneath her? A cardboard book, wide open. It looks like she was reading it and just tipped over when she fell asleep. She does like looking at books by herself now, and turns the pages very nicely when I read to her. She scratches her finger along the outlines of black and white pictures, and she loves a book a friend gave us that has bits of fur on the animals bodies for the reader to pat.

Samantha has a runny nose, but that seems to be it. Not even a cough, thank goodness. When we took her to the doctor on Tuesday, Dr. McCarty said she would be fine, no ear infection of anything that needed medication. She did give us some stuffy nose, a decongestant for babies, that seems to make her feel better.

Samantha weighed 18 pounds, 13 ounces at the doctor's office. I think she is doing the long but slender approach. I feed her tons, and she eats very little, usually.

When I put Samantha down now, she wants to stand and then walk for a bit as she holds our hands. She used to just plop down and crawl off, but now she prefers walking for a little way. She is so focused!

Samantha seems to be doing better with some of her emissions, but her nose is running really badly now. Her flu has now gone into a head cold. She looks so tired, but she is sleeping better this evening, not waking up every two hours like last night. Her medications seem to be helping. She had a good morning, but she is clearly not feeling well. When things don't go her way, she just sits there and screams, and that just isn't like her.

Did I mention that she is wearing a sleeper for an 18 month old child? It is a bit long, but not overly so. The 12 month sleepers were getting a bit tight on the toes, in my opinion. She is long! Thank goodness Kathleen gave us one for Hanukkah so I had one to try on her. It's a really nice fleece one from Land's End.

Ella is snoring on the blue chair.

Samantha seems to be all better this morning. She went all night with no 'emissions' and her rash seems healed. It is miraculous how quickly they recover at this age! I am so relieved. I know she didn't have anything life threatening, but it is hard to see her in pain and know that we just have to wait it out.

She is on the floor now in the den. She's tipped over her toy box and is rummaging through all the toys. I wonder if she'll think it is just as much fun to put the toys in the box as it is to take them out.

Gazing at Samantha's face today, I tried to slow time down, but it doesn't go that way. She is on fast forward now, never sitting still. I remember when she was a little baby, I could hold her and gaze at her for hours. Now she will hug me for a few seconds, and she is off. I love that energy, that zest. I just wish I could slow things down and gaze at her for a few moments.

She has had diarrhea the past couple of days. Her bum is all red and sore, and really painful. She cries when I have to change her and clean her up. I cry too, it is just awful to see her hurt like that. I wash her off, apply all the appropriate ointments, and I just have to wait out the runs. This is hard. Poor little girl. This doesn't slow her down at all. She plays as hard as ever, and giggles at Ella playing.

Samantha went to her first birthday party today. Cole Johnson turned one today. He is the son of Becky and Phil Johnson, our neighbors. Well, they live about five minutes away, not right next-door. There were at least five babies under one, and about five more under age 6. It was pretty amazing. I realized I'd never spent much time with a lot of children all at once in a social setting like that. I could barely hear anything. I met some other neighbors who have two children, a three year old and a 10 month old, and they have a dog the same age as Ella. I thought of Emily. She would be about the same age as their eldest. Made me feel sad. I guess that is going to always happen. I'll just have to roll with it.

Samantha took everything in stride. Once again, someone commented that she seems very knowing, wise, as though she sees into them. It was a bit eerie, actually. I've had so many people say that to me. People who have only seen her picture have said that. I think she is special too, I just see her more as a happy tornado.

She turns out to have a stomach bug again, in addition to teething, so it is hard to get her to sleep. I tried earlier, around 7:30, and Matt is in there now trying again. She is tired; she's just not able to settle down enough to sleep. Matt will wait her out longer than I do. I'm sure he'll have her asleep in just a little while.

The third tooth has arrived! There was a bump yesterday and a tooth today. These top teeth don't waste any time coming in. She seems to be okay, although I gave her Tylenol to help her sleep. She had a two-hour nap this morning, and nothing this afternoon. I could hardly complain, since she slept so well this morning. She was tired and cranky tonight, but not too unusual for her.

I didn't go for a walk today with Ella, and I feel guilty. It is about 15 degrees with wind chill and that seemed too cold to traipse Sam out in. She doesn't like being in her snow suit for any reason. She can't use her hands and that drives her crazy. She is adamant that she manages her pacifier, when and how she chews on it. She can't grasp things with mittens, so her coat and mittens isn't any better. Poor tyke. Poor Ella too.

Once again, after eating very little for several days, Samantha chowed down at lunch. She had four peach slices, a slab of breaded and fried tofu, avocado, and graham crackers macaroni and cheese, and carrots. She ate every single bite of the peaches. I kept slicing up one more bit and she ate that too. You'd think I'd get used to the feast and famine approach, but I never do. Three days, five days, seems like a long time for her to go with just snacking.

I gave her some of my crackers and cheese, and she seemed to really like it. Yum! She's on the floor now with her star tower and Ella's bone. Who knew pet toys could be so entertaining for babies?

Samantha slept really well today, a two-hour nap this morning and a two and a half hour nap this afternoon. She sounds slightly sniffly and I am hoping she isn't getting a cold.

Samantha slept through again last night! I think having her eat closer to 6 pm helps her to feel less hungry through the night. She made little cries, but put herself to sleep again. She's been falling asleep really well too. We put her in her crib while she is still awake with a pacifier, and she drifts off on her own. When she wakes up, she is pretty quiet about it. Matt said yesterday when he went in she was sitting cross legged in the middle of the crib looking at Goodnight Moon. She loves those cardboard books.

When I read Goodnight Moon to her, she loves to flip the pages for me. I lift the page on the right when I am ready for her to turn the page, and she moves it over to the left. She is a bit overeager to flip the page, sometimes flipping it even before I have finished reading the page we are on. I say thank you, and we have a lot of fun.

When I went up the stairs to bed last night, Samantha flung herself at the floor. She was demanding to climb up them by herself. What a big, busy girl she is, getting more independent every day.

She climbed up to the landing, with the obligatory demand to stop and play with the phone, despite my saying that is off limits. Then she climbed down from the landing. She was so thrilled with herself. But what does she do the next time we go upstairs? She demands that I carry her. So much for doing things on her own.

I forgot to mention that Sam is very good at taking off her own diaper now. Just rips those little tabs apart , no problem.

Samantha slept completely through the night last night, from 8 pm to 6 am. And she woke this morning smiling and giggling and very happy. Wow! I wish I could say the same for me, but I spent the night coughing, despite help from the pharmacy. Oh well. At least Sudafed has caffeine in it.

Samantha often soothes herself by running her fingers through my hair. I feel like I am being groomed just like any other alpha monkey. Maybe Matt is right, we really are "just monkeys with car keys."

Samantha seems different this morning. I'm not sure why, just more directed, more hand coordinated? Something I can't put my finger on.

Samantha knows how to get down stairs now as well as climb up them! I've been having her climb the stairs whenever we go up, and she is pretty steady with them. I've shown her how to get down to the living room about four or five times in the past couple of months, but she didn't seem interested. She seemed to prefer the "mommy pick me up" method of getting down the stairs. Today, Matt tells me to look, and she has turned around and is going down the stairs backwards, all by herself with great finesse. We were really impressed! She is 11 months old now. Can't believe that much time has passed.

When I put her to bed she flung one arm over her face, and I thought, "how uncomfortable!" Then I realized that is the exact same position that I was in one of the photos Matt took of me sleeping. It is so strange to see her do things that I do without even thinking.