I learned another new Yiddish word for Samantha: 'Mazzik' It means precocious child. She isn't necessarily precocious yet, but I bet it is only a matter of time. Every day she gets better at being awake and happy, tracking things with her eyes. I see her doing more with her hands at her sides and holding them together in front of her chest. She hasn't gotten a hand consistently to her mouth, but she'll suck on it if it accidentally lands near enough. Progress! She likes her bouncy seat and her swing chair more too. I actually got to make the entire bed yesterday without her fussing when she was in the swing chair. I have to sing along with the music so she knows where I am, but that is fine.

It’s ten o’clock and I have been run over by a steam roller named Sam. She fussed from 6 pm onward, except for the hour long walk I took with her and Ella around the neighborhood. I carried Sam in the Bjorn carrier which always puts her to sleep, except towards the end of the walk. Then she started screaming and did not stop for the next two hours. Really. There were brief pauses so she could breathe, but other than that she screamed. She finally fell asleep when I propped her up on the boppy pillow to go make her some formula. I was only gone a couple of minutes, but she just passed out before I got back and couldn’t even wake up enough to eat. She doesn’t have a temperature, so I guess she just had a bad hair day. And wanted to pass it on to her parents. J

Samantha slept 8 hours at a stretch last night! She went to sleep at 10 pm and slept until 6 am. Really great! And she went to sleep at noon and slept until almost 3 pm. I think this may be because her tummy isn’t sore from switching back and forth from formula to milk, but I don’t really know. It could also just be because she is older. I don’t care, I am just glad to see her sleeping more. She is vocalizing more sounds, and seems to be more alert, make that very alert, than she used to be, eons, or rather, a month ago.

Samantha stayed awake from 2 pm until 8 pm today. She slept for half hour here, half hour there, but nothing more than that. We gave her a bath, and that finally put her asleep. Her hair stood right on end after it dried. She was adorable, when she stopped screaming. She didn't cry during the bath at all, except when Matt tried the spray on her. It just startled her, we think. She settled down quickly then started screaming again when we were all done. I think she just wanted a little snack and a snuggle, which seemed to put her right out and she's been sleeping ever since. Last night she slept from 9 pm until 3, was up for two hours, then woke up again at 6 pm. Those are good chunks of time for such a little one. I guess she is adjusting her time schedule pretty well. It would go better for us if we could remember to go to bed with her at 9 pm, but that is hard to do. I tried raking the backyard with her in her car seat, but she just screamed off and on for an hour. That's as much raking as I could do anyway. She was clean, fed, dry and warm, I have no idea why she screamed. She stopped for a bit while I sang to her, but I was out of breath from raking so it was hard to sing. I'll just do a little bit every day and hopefully she won't always scream when she is outside. Ella licked her face and got Sam dirty, but it was clean mud, really!

Samantha made the ‘m’ sound today for the first time. Instead of saying wah, she said Meh. It’s a start! She’s always trying out new sounds

Not breastfeeding is a relief. In a way. Last weekend she refused to nurse and what little milk she did get, she spit out. I tried again in the middle of the week, and got the same result. She just isn’t a nursing kind of child and I am tired of fighting against her. Since I stopped nursing I enjoy being with her. I feel closer to her and more affectionate than ever, and I think I can appreciate her much more now with out the struggle of breastfeeding. I just miss that automatic stamp of approval when you breastfeeding that says, yes, I am a good mother. Everyone feels entitled to ask me if I am or not, which amazes me. I don’t ask them personal questions about their bodily effluvia, what makes them think they can ask me?

Anyway, Samantha is doing great and is getting bigger everyday. Her baby acne is getting better on her face, but is worse on her head. Oh well. I know she is gorgeous. I can see a person there, and I get a kick out of her very mature facial expressions as she stretches to get the most comfortable spot to nestle in my arms. She’s adorable.

Sam had her four shots yesterday, her vaccinations. It didn’t seem too bad during it, for me, I mean. The nurse said some people cry during it, and that made sense. I have to hold her hands to make sure they don’t get in the way of the needles. The nurse did the shots extremely quickly. I didn’t know anyone could do them that fast. Sam screamed as the shot was given, then calmed down immediately. What a trooper. I realized how hard it was for me when it was over and I felt like a steam train had run over me. She has been crying a bit more, so I hold her every chance I get, not much different in that. We gave her Tylenol every four hours, which seemed to help with the soreness. Poor tyke, but it helps stave some nasty diseases, so no choice there.

Sam has discovered the concept of comfort. When I lift her to my shoulder to burp her, she spends 10 minutes waving her head back and forth to find the perfect spot to rest her head. She used to just leave it in whatever spot it landed in.

Her vital statistics: 22 inches long, 10 pounds, 37 cm head circumference. Doing very well for her age, that is with the three week adjustment for due date. That means she is being measured against other children born Feb 22, not Jan. 31.

Samantha went to the park with us on Sunday, a half hour hike through the woods and a half hour playing with the dogs. She got to meet a handsome beagle that wanted to say hello to Sam. He was a very mellow dog, very sweet. Sam ended up with a muddy pawprint on her shoulder, which freaked the owners out. It’s just mud! Sam slept through it all.